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17 Notes

G-Man Recruitment

Status: “The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world” … “So wake up Mr Freeman, wake up and smell the ashes”

Source: Gamerprint.co.uk

Score: 3 out of 5 Kombis

Description: At a casual glance you’d be forgiven for thinking this tee was from some old TV show. Maybe one from the 60’s like ‘The Man from U.N.C.L.E.’ or ‘Mission Impossible’. Or did it have something to do with the 80’s TV series ‘The A-Team’, a sequel perhaps?

Well if you hadn’t guessed already the G-Man was that mysterious character that Gordon Freeman would encounter every now and then in the very popular Valve game - ‘Half Life’. His role and identity are unknown but he is clearly there to watch over Gordon throughout his missions … almost like an overseer or employer. They never meet or speak directly but the G-Man has a lot to say in monologues at the start of the game or when Gordon is unconscious. And he does seem like a guy you wouldn’t want to cross and this is backed up by his ranking as being one of the most evil video game characters of all time (30th to be exact). Hmm, I wonder who number 1 is?

But what is really great is if you were looking for a career in the government specialising as a secret agent overseeing people with PhDs in Theoretical Physics, they have a recruitment agency.

So while you wait for that call for a job interview add this subtle tee to your gaming t-shirt collection. Your friends, work colleagues and passers-by will either know it or not. And even the ones that do will be saying, “I know this, I played it years ago”, “He kept popping up at random spots in the game”.

Indeed he did and the G-Man may be popping up again soon? But will it be Half Life 3, Half Life - The Movie or the MMO - Half Life Universe?

Until then just enjoy the t-shirt and … oh! the phone is ringing :o)

1 Notes

Rubik’s Cube Reset Button

Status: Press reset to take you cube back to factory settings

Source: GlennzTees

Score: 4 out of 5 Kombis

Description: Any kid can solve a Rubik’s Cube, you don’t need a reset button, they’re easy and can be done in under 10 mins. Really? Well let’s put it to the test then.

Here we have a brand new Rubik’s cube, a kid from the 1980’s and a kid from today (2014). The cube’s colours have been mixed up and ready to be solved. The 80’s kid has agreed to go first, let’s watch and see what happens. Are you ready … get set … and go! Oh wait, he wants a bit of privacy. Ok, fine, you can use the next room. And off he goes.

Time passes … 5mins goes by … times passes …

Here he is and it’s all completed, and it only took 7min 46sec … very close to his personal best time. I’m impressed.

Alright my turn, but first I just need to jumble up all the colours again. Strange the cube feels a lot easier to turn now, almost like it’s not new any more. Never mind, as the focus for me is putting it back the way it was and not being beaten by a kid.

Time passes and the best I’ve achieved is getting one of the 6 sides done. But as soon as I try and complete another side it just ruins the first one. Sound familiar to some of you? Well that’s it I give up and it’s way past 10 minutes now.

The 80’s kids smiles and says, “would you like me to show you how it’s done”? I keenly reply “yes please” … and to my absolute surprise he starts rotating each side a quarter turn and with a small amount of force starts pulling each coloured block off the cube and places them on the ground. Within seconds the blocks have all been removed from the cube and lie in front of him like an unfinished jig-saw puzzle. As I watch in amazement he quickly matches up the colours and starts putting the blocks back into the cube. Voila, the Rubik’s cube is solved and in record time too. Now I see why the cube had lost all of it’s stiffness and new feeling … he’d pulled it to bits, but more importantly, “he cheated”.

Now for the last part of the test, the kid from today? Would he be able to solve the Rubik’s Cube? And when I say solve I mean ‘solve’, not pull it to bits. The same cube will be used but this time I’ve super glued all the blocks in. Lets see how he gets on. To be fair he gets a bit of privacy as well and uses the next room. Are you ready … set … go!

Time passes … 5mins goes by … times passes …

Here he is and it’s all completed as well and it took just under 7 minutes. Before I declare him the winner I quickly check the cube and can see the super glue is all intact. But had the kid from 2014 really solved it? I’m not too sure.

I mix up the cube’s colours, hand it back and ask him to solve it again. To my surprise he pulls out his pocket a smartphone and quickly opens up a Rubik’s cube solver app. Within seconds he’s taken a photo of all of the six sides and then waits as the app solves the puzzle. It’s done, it can be solved in 6 moves and the app gives him step by step instructions. He cheated as well and it was even quicker than his first attempt. To rub salt into it the boy apologises for taking so long the first time as he had to hack my WiFi password so he could download the app from the Internet. Crickey!

But had they both really cheated? To solve the Rubik’s cube is to reset it back to its original state and that’s exactly what they’d done.

If you hadn’t guessed already the 80’s kid was in fact me, but it’s nice to see the modern kids are just as resourceful as we were … if not better.

So wear this tee shirt with pride and wonder (worry) how the next generation of kids will reset stuff :o)

Notes

Gauntlet Tee

Status: Gauntlet - The multiplayer dungeon crawling arcade game from the 80’s

Source: Blah Blah t-shirts, Zazzle, Superhero City

Score: 3 out of 5 Kombis

Description: From the dark depths of the spacies arcade comes those familiar sounds - “Wizard needs food badly”, “I’ve not seen such bravery”, “Elf shot the food” and those fateful words that you never want to hear, “Valkyrie is about to die”. You quickly move your player to a safe distance and switch from melee to ranged attack. Your team mates come to your aid as you tap the buttons frantically trying to defend yourself, but it’s too late, you’re all low on health, Wizard is out of potions, there is no food and you are all surrounded. At this point the game is over and it’s back to the counter to get more coins.

You return and the Gauntlet machine stands before you like a shrine with all of its joysticks and buttons beckoning you to play again. But you have to be quick, this is a multiplayer game where up to 4 people can play at once. So which character will you choose this time? Will it be Elf, with his bow and arrow and excellent ranged attack? Wizard, with his potions and bolts of magic and that very cool special ability of clearing the whole screen of monsters with one special spell? Maybe Warrior, your classic hack ‘n slash character who loves being in the thick of it meleeing monsters with his axe? Or will it be Valkyrie, the best all round player with her sword and shield?

You quickly dismiss the Wizard as he is way too hard to play. And what teenage boy would play a girl character? So Valkyrie is out. We all know that game developers always throw a ‘token’ female character into their games … right?  This only leaves 2 choices, Elf and Warrior, so you choose the Warrior … again. But little do you know but you have ‘chosen poorly’ … again, the girl is always the best character.

Why? Let me explain. Who are the majority of people who develop games? Guys. More precisely young guys.  And apart from pizza and full strength coke what is the one thing they crave for in life?  Yes that’s right … “boobies” and the hope that one day they will get laid.  But until that day comes they will pour all of their frustrated energies into the female character(s) of their games.  Hours will be devoted to getting the female shape just right (boobs and bum way too big).  The end result is that you have the best character in the game with the coolest stuff and the best abilities.

If you don’t believe me look at other great games.  Diablo - The Rogue, Diablo II - Amazon, Sonya Blade - Mortal Kombat, Team Fortress 2 - The Pyro and finally Borderlands - Lilith, to name a few. All great characters to play in those games.  Hang on Pyro? TF2? They’re all male characters.  Ahh that’s where you’re wrong, if you look closely in the re-spawn room the pyro has a purse up the top of her locker and her pyro mask never comes off, therefore she’s the only female character in the game. I do feel for the game devs who worked on this character, all that effort only to have a pyro suit and mask cover it up.

So the next time you’re struggling to choose a character on your new video game, remember ‘choose wisely’ and - “Be The Girl!”.

Notes

Valve employee wears Half-Life 3 t-shirt

Notes

Jupiter Broadcasting

Status: Support them by buying a tee shirt

Source: Teespring.com

Score: 3 out of 5 Kombis (any colour as long as it’s black)

Description: It was 2008 when I really started listening to podcasts on a regular basis. And like a lot of people I had an iPod for my music. So I decided to take the plunge and start syncing podcasts to it as well. The only thing that stood in the way of my ‘peaceful listening bliss’ was that infernal software called iTunes. Was it me or was iTunes just dreadful?

Just thinking about it still makes me anxious as I recall those lost hours of syncing music and it wouldn’t show up, sync it again and it would appear twice and the best one of all was sync it and your music would appear as Track 01, Track 02, Track 03 … and if you didn’t edit it right there and then it would be lost to some dark corner of your iPod. It was like feeding a hungry beast, updating album art, correcting music genres and no sooner had you installed it there was a new version of the software nagging you days later. Making peace with it and accepting all of its quirks seemed to be the answer, but clearly iTunes wasn’t for me but once you were out in the wild the iPod was an awesome device with excellent sound. The big surprise however was syncing podcats, it was relatively simple and it always seemed to work.

At the time the top podcast was ‘The Ricky Gervais Show' with Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. It was a good show and I found it entertaining but there was something about Ricky Gervais that just made me shiver and cringe. What I really wanted was something geeky that talked about 'bleeding edge' technology, but most of all it had to be entertaining. I found that in The Linux Action Show. Bryan and Chris had put together a great show very reminiscent of a breakfast radio show. It was loud, fast, funny and they talked about stuff that I was into. What’s more they did the show purely out of love, recording the show in the weekends and relying on sponsors and funding to keep the show alive. As they increased in popularity so did their number of podcasts and so began ‘Jupiter Broadcasting' a main portal to all their 9 or so different shows. But to us die-hards there was only one show.

Fast forward to today I still listen to The Linux Action Show but Jupiter Broadcasting has fallen on hard times with and need a little extra cash. If you head over to Teespring.com and buy one of their t-shirts you would be helping a great cause.

As my iPod, you just know I sold that years ago :o)

26072 Notes

otlgaming:

EVOLUTION OF GAME BOY
Prints available on Society6
Created by Chungkong
(via insanelygaming)

Would make a great tee shirt for all those Nintendo fan boys out there. But where is the 2013 Nintendo 2DS? I’m guessing it would ruin this very symmetrical 4x3 grid :)

otlgaming:

EVOLUTION OF GAME BOY

Prints available on Society6

Created by Chungkong

(via insanelygaming)

Would make a great tee shirt for all those Nintendo fan boys out there. But where is the 2013 Nintendo 2DS? I’m guessing it would ruin this very symmetrical 4x3 grid :)

16 Notes

geekt:

A wild AT-AT with its elephant brethren. 

An African approach to the Imperial walk.

geekt:

A wild AT-AT with its elephant brethren


An African approach to the Imperial walk.

10 Notes

Nexus 6

Status: An awesome tee for die-hard Blade Runner fans out there

Sources: Last exit to nowhere

Score: 4 out of 5 Kombis

Description: Inception date of Roy Batty, Nexus-6 replicant, combat model #N6MAA10816 [N6 = Nexus6, M = Male, AA = Physical and Mental are both the highest grade, 10816 = inception date 8 January 2016]. Function - combat, off-world colonisation defence program.

Designed to only last 4 years Roy Batty is seen as more than just an android as he tries to extend his life. He leads a group of renegade Nexus-6 Replicants who journey back to earth to seek out their maker in the hope of self preservation. As the prodigal son he meets his maker Eldon Tyrell only to find his hopes of longer life is not possible.

After 3 years and 10 months he has destroyed his maker and all the key figures at the Tyrell  Corporation, and is now chasing down Deckard, the Blade Runner who eliminated most of his friends.

On the roof tops in the pouring rain he finally has his chance to avenge his friends and let Deckard fall to his death. Instead in a twist of fate Roy saves him, accepts his inevitable fate and with a smile he slowly ‘expires’. Why would he do that? He’s a replicant, only humans have feelings and display empathy. But it does beg the question, “what is human”?

"I know", as he picks up his android phone and asks "Ok Google"

928 Notes

otlgaming:

GEEKY ONESIES

As a new dad, I’m constantly faced with decisions that will impact my child’s life and sometimes those decisions aren’t easy. Like, how do I share my love of geekiness with my kids at this early age? Dress them in the part, of course!

Each onesie is made-to-order and can be purchased from Mama Goose Boutique’s Etsy site.

If you like these you’ll definitely like these gamer-themed bibs.

1 Notes

Lou Reed

Status: The 26 Dollar Wager

Sources: Redbubble.com, Allposters.com & 81times.com

Score: 3 out of 5 Kombis

Description: “Next!!”

Slowly a man approaches. He looks very familiar with his wavy hair and rap around sunglasses. No, it’s not Jim Morrison from the The Doors, he’s a pretty boy and anyway he’s been here for decades. No, this man is hard looking with his weathered leathery face and strong crease lines. As he reaches the ‘Pearly Gates’ St Peter stops him, “Ah Mr Reed we’ve been expecting you. We have the a matter of your wager to discuss?” “Oh, yes that … you mean the $26 one from 1967?”, Lou replies.

"That’s right", St Peter acknowledges nodding his head. "At the time you said you would use your own talents to write your music and would continue to be difficult and a grumpy bugger and polarise your fans for the rest of your life. We, on the other hand had you pegged for going to ‘The Crossroads’, in a heart beat like the rest of your fellow musicians, to seek out the ‘The Man’ for fame and fortune. Well … to my surprise and ‘The man’ upstairs here you are then." St Peter opens his hand and passes over on old array of dollar bills. "The wager is complete here is your 26 dollars, you may now enter."

"I will say that over the years whether people loved or hated you, your music did leave a mark. I had many pass through these gates humming your tunes. Songs like ‘Sweet Jane’, ‘Satellite of Love' and 'Walk on the Wildside' spring to mind. But my favourites were 'Perfect Day' and of course 'Im Waiting for the Man’.”

"So, what are you going to do with your newly acquired winnings?" Lou ponders for a second and replies, "well if I was back at the corner of Lexington Avenue and 125th Street right now it wouldn’t be drugs. But there is a McDonald’s there now."

St Peter quickly asks, “how about another wager then?” “Okay”, says Lou, “what do you have in mind?”

"The intro music to Boardwalk Empire, you know the one with the clangy guitar and that very familiar psychedelic sound. ‘Straight up and down’ written by the Brian Jonestown Massacre? Really? Your lyrics to ‘I’m Waiting for the Man’ fit perfectly, in fact it almost sounds the same. I wager you had a hand in producing that song.”

Lou squeezes the money tight and puts it back into St Peter’s hand and with a smile and a quick wink says. “You’re on.”

"Enjoy your stay". :o)